When your impression isn’t a joyful one
My sister-in-law tells people that she cried for days when she found out she was pregnant. She even says this in front of the children who were a result of the pregnancy she was crying over.
It's okay to be upset about a pregnancy. Not every pregnancy is a welcome one. Having a child is stressful and the second (or third or fourth or...) time mother knows this better than anyone else. Children are time consuming, expensive and hard work. They strain marriages and finances. Not all of them are pink little bundles of joy who coo joyfully and sleep on schedule. Very few of them, in fact! Many mothers-to-be contemplate the impending event with anything but joy and happiness.
For the sake of your own health, if you feel depressed about a pregnancy, talk to your doctor.
For the sake of your children and their mental health, it's probably best to keep negative prenatal emotions between yourself and medical professionals or in very private conversations with a close friend. Even if your feelings have changed since having the baby, it gives the impression that they are unwanted - and no child needs to feel unwanted.
I can speak from experience that ANTEnatal depression is alive and well in maternityville. I didn’t know there was such a thing at the time, but I do know that once I actually had the babies, my depression lifted.
Let your provider know. I don’t think it gets a lot of airplay and certainly doesn’t get the attention that postnatal depression gets.
Although I have not been in the situation mentioned, I agree that it is a good thing to be discreet when discussing an unplanned pregnancy.
It might just be me, but I don’t like children being described as mistakes. Yes, it may have been a mistake getting pregnant, but surely there is another way to describe your child. I have actually heard more than one person tell someone else in front of their child that they were a mistake. I think surprise might be a way better word.
I like to say all my children were planned, just not timed.
I agree that surprise is better. I also appreciate the realistic viewpoint in the post.
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